On Goal Setting: Results vs. Process
I had a daily writing goal in 2015, and I hit it! I wrote 365 days last year. But this is my first post in three months, so clearly I had no blogging goal, haha. Maybe I need one! (Note to self…)
Late last year, I had a couple of epiphanies about goals. The first is that I’d become a one-year goal setting and goal achieving ninja. I’d successfully set and hit one-year goals for several years. BUT I was achieving a succession of one-year goals without any long-term plan. My friend Colette suggested a book called Five: Where Will You Be Five Years From Today? I completed all the exercises over three morning writing sessions and walked away with a concrete vision of what I want to see in five years. Big wake up call: my son will be in his final year of secondary school in five years. Better be sure I’m raising the man I want to see in 2021!
The second epiphany is that I’m in a good place overall, both personally and professionally, and it didn’t happen overnight. This has become a bit of an obsession. I traced back healthy eating, for instance. I am not claiming to be the cleanest eater in the world, but I bet I’m doing pretty good compared to the average American. It began in 2002, when I got pregnant. It was the first time in my life I remember questioning what I ate, considering that my personal nutritional choices would also affect the baby growing inside me. I cut out all caffeine during my pregnancy, and began eating organic produce. After my son was born and began eating solid foods, I bought organic for him and conventional for my husband and me, and asked myself one day, “Why would you want only the best for him, but not for yourself?” I am sure we spend far more than most 3-person households on food, and it’s about quality, not quantity. We forgo other luxuries because food quality is a high priority for us.
I’m happy we have healthy eating habits, and each year since 2002, we’ve made some adjustments that at the time didn’t seem major, but as an accumulation of habits, lead to really positive outcomes.
One memorable story I've heard about goal setting was from a teacher who insisted that a 25-pound weight loss goal he’d set in January, and had not happened yet by December 1 of that year, would not have happened had he not written it down. After Thanksgiving, he buckled down, disciplined himself for the following month, worked out like a fiend, and by December 31 he’d hit his goal.
Yay for him, but what I remember most is that the next year that weight came back! To my knowledge, the number on his scale has continued to go up and down over the years, because he has always focused solely on the result goal, and not on a process goal.
So I’ve been looking at goal setting very differently. Instead of focusing on an just an achievement, I’m mostly focusing on behaviors, habits, and rituals that can lead to an outcome I want.
Now that I’ve written that, it seems silly and self-explanatory. But business people can get carried away with end results ("Just bullet point it for me!"), totally ignoring the means. And the means are what lifestyle, and quality of life, are all about.
How are your 2016 goals coming along? Are you more of an end result goal setter, or a process goal setter, or both?
Weekly Notes #4
- After last week's shooting at Umpqua Community College, this teacher wrote about the unbearable weight we put on too many people's shoulders when we refuse to engage in productive conversations about a really tough, emotional topic like gun control.
- The thought of spending hundreds of dollars on custom jeans is outrageous to me. But maybe it isn't just the jeans you're paying for -- it's the total experience.
- The New Yorker describes Sue Rahr's strategy called LEED, "listening and explaining with equity and dignity." sounds like an amazing policing strategy, and a really effective life strategy.
- Living wage? CNN Money profiles a month of earning and spending for a single working mom, earning minimum wage. It's reality and it's no good.
- After all this heavy stuff, I've got to share this excerpt from an interview of Karl Lagerfeld in British Vogue. Always reliable for a meme-ready quote, he says, "I am all fake but not remade."
The 10% Rule
I instituted "The 10% Rule" this year as a personal guideline for my reading: If I'm 10% into a book, and I don't like it, let it go.
At the end of last year, I saw that I'd finished and reviewed quite a few books that I didn't like! And most of the time, I had an inkling I wouldn't like these books early on. I just rationalized I should give each book more time to develop... so I'd keep reading... and before I knew it, I'd be halfway into the book. And then I'd feel I'd invested too much time to abandon it. Some friends and family members pointed out, after reading those reviews I'd written on Goodreads, that they don't typically finish ANY books they don't like.
What a novel idea!
So I tested my theory late last year. Could I tell by 10% completion whether I'd like a book or not? And the answer was YES. Thus, The 10% Rule.
I invoked it last week, for The Rosie Effect. Sorry to say that 38 pages in, this sequel had none of the magic of The Rosie Project. And I got to jump on Modern Romance, by Aziz Ansari, a book club pick from September that came from the library after that meeting was long over. LOL More on that one later...
Careers Are Wonderful, BUT...
[I don't even know if you can see that sweet little pooch's snout under the fence. He's our buddy -- we've never met him except as he cries a little, sticking his cute nose at us, hoping we can all fit under the fence to play with him.]
Weekly Notes #3
- I liked True Detective, Season One, and wasn't so sure about Season Two. Wired thinks that the movie Sicario is what True Detective, Season Two, should have been.
- I really like the new iOS9 font, San Francisco. This is what makes it an improvement over the Helvetica we all got so used to.
- Kellogg's spent $32 million last year just advertising Pop Tarts. The Atlantic says food companies shill sugar like it's nobody's business. (Except theirs, obvz.)
- I've mused for years about the art of conversation in the age of digital (non face-to-face) communication. Here's a reasonable, non-hysterical perspective, a few years in, from The NYT.
Weekly Notes #2
Blah blah blah:
- Crisis Text Line puts technology to undeniably good use, helping teens in crisis.
- Thought you could empathize with a refugee if you haven't been one? Think again (adjust volume).
- I've made solid friendships over the years with people I met through my first sewing blog, and eventually met in real life. That IRL time counts for a lot.
- I never thought twice about sending email in the evenings and on weekends, but a good friend told me once that it can really stress people out. So I started using SendLater for Mac, and now I never worry about ruining anyone's personal time (although they shouldn't be checking work email on their personal time anyway, but I'll save that for another post).
- Seven types of vegan.
Expectations
Yesterday, I finished reading the novel, Sand Omnibus, by Hugh Howey. One of his previous novels, Wool Omnibus, was my favorite book last year. But then I read the other two books in that trilogy, which didn't measure up at all IMO, and felt I'd appropriately lowered my expectations around Sand.
I was still disappointed.
Which got me thinking about expectations. I don't usually read reviews before watching a movie. If the trailer or even the premise look promising, I'll gladly watch without finding out more. I definitely don't read reviews of books before I read the books themselves, although if my reading queue is full, I might scan star ratings at Goodreads and Amazon to prioritize.
It's probably common practice to read a book you love, and then get your hands on everything else the author has written. But I'm finding that, for me, this can create expectations and invite comparisons to the author's other work that are difficult for me to leave at the front door.
Do you ever experience this? Any advice for me on how to let go of my (perhaps) unreasonable expectations?
[In case you're interested, here is my review of Wool Omnibus, and my review of Sand Omnibus.]
Simplicity 1870 + 1871
It's been a while since I posted a sewing project, and with a backlog of projects to share, I'll combine these outfits into one post. Each of them uses the top from Simplicity 1870 and the skirt from Simplicity 1871.
The first outfit is made from the fabric left over from a dress I made for my sweet friend, Ashley. (I'm just realizing I never blogged Ashley's dress, which I made in July! Lots to catch up on.) It's a pink variegated stripe, a poly-lycra blend that is soooo soft and drapey. I didn't do a petite adjustment on the top or bottom, but I will probably crop it more on top so it looks less like I can't measure, and more like you're supposed to see a slice of skin.
The second outfit was my birthday dress! This time, I used a more structured, B&W striped, poly-lycra knit from Michael Levine Loft, and I attached the top and bottom. But I cut away a triangle of fabric on the skirt, from the side seams to the waist, before attaching them. I've been loving the cutouts on clothes all over the dang place, and the curviest part of my torso is the lower waist, so that's how I decided to make the cutouts there. When I wear the dress, it feels like I'm showing lots of skin. But when I see the photos, it looks very demure. Maybe I will end up wearing it again, after all.
The whole process of taking photos for the blog / pattern review cracks me up. My husband is my primary photographer, and we really have been trying to create more of a "vibe" so that we get better shots. Usually, he is frustrated and I am frowning. This particular day, we photographed three outfits, when we were both searing under a hot sun. He had me in the oddest-feeling poses, arms one way, hands another, body facing yet another direction, instructing me to look directly into the sun and smile. We had some fun this time around, laughing at the whole process, but I know there must be an easier way. Don't be surprised if you see props, and masks, and hats, and other hijinks and swag and silliness in future sewing project photos.
For you sewing peeps, here is my review of the S1070 top. And here's my review of the S1071 skirt.
Craft vs. Art
““He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.””
In 2010, I participated in an Austin Fashion week runway show, showcasing recycled clothing. About 25 designers shared one to four pieces each, every garment made from recycled materials. I’d been sewing not quite four years, but had spent much of that time exploring the limits and themes of discarded clothing -- turning something unwanted into something desirable.
By runway day, I'd completed two garments: one followed a familiar dress silhouette and construction, made of black denim, and incorporated about seven zippers; the other, sewn from khaki trousers, was completely improvised, from beginning to end, covered in cargo pockets.
The black denim dress was simple to put together, as I'd made similar dresses from patterns for years. This gave me a chance to spend time figuring out where and how I would attach the zippers for most visual appeal.
The khaki dress was a discovery all along the way. When I cut the legs off the first pair of khakis, I realized that if I turned it upside down, what was originally the waistband would make a perfect hem to the skirt for a dress. And those pleats on the front, hideous as they might look as khakis, created a perfect fullness as a skirt. Cut, pin, sew. Eyeball. Cut, pin, sew. After a very different process, my second dress dress was done.
After fittings and styling, it was runway day. (BTW I finally understood a tiny bit of how contestants on Project Runway must feel — a simple and potent combination of pride, exhaustion, and terror!)
The moment the black denim dress came down the runway, I felt a surge of pride I could sum in one sentiment: "I made that!” The model walked with her left hand on her hip, as we’d agreed, to highlight those perfect, parallel rows of recycled zippers. I remember thinking how lucky I'd been to be so familiar with that dress shape, so that I could focus on this set of details. The polite applause validated my sense of handcraft and attention to finishing.
Next, the khaki dress came down the runway. All I heard was silence. In a moment of panic, I looked to make sure my model didn’t have a wardrobe malfunction. Nope. Blood rushed to my face. Why wasn’t anyone making noise? I noticed several people pointing to my dress, and appearing to hold their breath. They had just figured out that the bottom of the skirt was the waistband, and the rounded tulip shape was made from the pleated front of the original khakis. Finally, murmurs of recognition, followed by vigorous applause.
It wasn’t until I saw this quote that I thought of my runway experience, and the lesson I learned about craft vs. art. Craft is good and respectable. It requires a sense of patience and discipline, and the proverbial devil really is in the details. People relate to the care and love that goes into craft.
But art. Art is visceral, in my experience, both as a creator and as a receiver. It is more forgiving of technique, more tolerant of experimentation. It celebrates intuition and passion. It can bring insight, challenge what you think you see, and take your breath away.
Can one piece encompass both art and craft? Yes. But it was good for me to experience that there is a difference.
Here's a link to a few casual shots we took before the show, but I relied on the pro photog to take shots on the runway... and he did... and now I have no idea where that album is.
"Leap" by Brian Doyle
Today marks the 14th anniversary of 9/11. I read a beautiful essay this week, written by Brian Doyle, who was not at the twin towers, who also watched from afar, feeling powerless, struggling to make sense. Here he is, reading his short essay, "Leap."
Process vs. Product Goals
It's about that time of year. Not quite Q4, but late enough in the year to think about my progress against my annual goals. The good news is that I'm doing great. I'm on track. But, for the first time in years, my big goal this year was not a product goal, but a process goal.
I didn't do it on purpose. But I'm reading a lot this year that challenges the current business mindset that an annual goal is the sum total of your year's efforts. If I did that, I might have set a goal to write a book this year.
But I've published before, and there was never big romance in that for me anyway. I just wanted to get better at writing. In fact, I want to be great at it. I'd like to be as confident in my writing as I am in my speaking. I'm not tied down to any specific form that my writing will take. So instead of setting a goal to write or publish a book, for instance, my goal was to write every day this year.
Every day.
After a couple of months creating the daily writing habit (about 66 days, and I wasn't even trying), I took a writing class. Having specific feedback from my teacher as well as other students helped me increase the quality of my writing dramatically. I read several books and followed their great writing prompts, found a dedicated writing partner / peer reviewer, and am ironically exploring an opportunity to write for book publication again. Not because I've been focused on getting published again. But because, instead of obsessing over the outcome ("product"), I've focused on the everyday work of writing ("process").
I've written every single day this year, and because much of my writing has been by hand, in a notebook, the best I can do is estimate my word count. In the first eight months of the year, I've written somewhere almost 160,000 words. The rough equivalent of three novels, if you're looking for a benchmark.
Would my year be going differently if I'd set an annual goal of "52 blog posts of 1,000 words each," or "write a book?" Hard to say. And there are probably goals that are clearest as end result goals. But I am completely happy with and excited about my results from focusing this year on process instead of product.
Weekly Notes #1
An unexpected brunch guest, who liked my crepe more than even I did.
Lots of good, diverse reading, re-reading, watching, and cooking this week:
- If you've ever looked at art and thought, "Really? I could do that," PBS will school you.
- On that note, two New York Times writers share views on what it takes to qualify as an art critic.
- Entrepreneur says all current self-help boils down to these four topics.
- Which wine pairs with which back-to-school crisis?
- FiveThirtyEight Science says maybe the key to massive creativity is to stop trying to be creative.
- I'm shocked again, reading in Jezebel how an author got very different responses to her manuscript when she submitted it under a man's name.
- Made a killer recipe for Buffalo Tempeh from The Post-Punk Kitchen.
The Artist's Way: Tips For Completing The Program
After a long-ago false start with the 12-week "creative recovery program" in Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way ("TAW" for short), I have finished. Victory!!!!!! Lots of exclamation points feel appropriate. Having abandoned it once, and now having completed it once, I have three tips in case you're interested in tackling this for the first time and want to complete the 12-week program:
- Read through Week One before you begin, and first decide how "by the book" you want your experience to be.
Cameron suggests you commit to daily writing via the "morning pages," a weekly artist date, and completion of each week's tasks. (Explanations of all these things are in the book.)
It would have taken me a year just to do all the tasks, and my life has a satisfying number of events that qualify as artist dates. So I decided my main commitment to completing the program was to write those morning pages, 3 per day, every day, for 12 weeks.
- Find support from a peer group.
I was really lucky: As I considered jumping into the book again this spring, I received an email from a local craft studio (in fact, called CRAFT) that they were putting together a group to follow TAW for 12 weeks. About 10 people participated, and the idea was to meet each Monday, discuss progress from the previous week, and maybe complete a little craft together. Summer happened, and only 2 of us ended up finishing the entire program in the 12-week period, although some combination of at least 4 people seemed to meet each week anyway.
Even though everyone had different goals and a different approach to the program, it was really helpful to have cheerleaders and co-commiserators (writing three pages a day is a challenge for most everyone!) offer their support, ideas, and enthusiasm. I enjoyed getting to know these artists, who had different perspectives about creative challenges and solutions. One artist joined the group to get momentum finishing a small but highly emotional piece, and through group discussion, revealed an unrelated huge project that had been sitting, untouched, for six years. She finished her small piece, and after our meetings, she resurrected the huge project and is updating it for publication.
If you scour Craigslist and Meetup.com and don't see a group in your local area that you can join, consider starting your own, in person or virtually. The benefits of a peer group are enormous.
- Plan your weekly progress on your calendar, so you stay on track.
One of the best things I did to help me stay on track was to put an appointment in my calendar (iCal) each Monday with that week's chapter. So if you look at my calendar, on June 15, there is an appointment at 6am called "TAW: Week One." It was my prompt to read the chapter corresponding to Week One and start writing about some of the topics and tasks for the new week. On June 22, my 6am appointment was called "TAW: Week Two" to remind me to stay on track. And so on, for 12 consecutive weeks.
Maybe you'll prefer to start your week on a different day, which is fine. My point is that I never questioned where I was in the program because it was on my calendar.
I wrote a Goodreads review of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, in case you'd like more detail both on what I thought of the book, as well as the overall experience of completing the program. I'll restate the final sentiment of my review here: This is a great book for everyone, not just "creative" folks, because when you think about it, we are all creating a life. Might as well make it one we love.
Think Bigger
“Whatever you’re thinking, think bigger.”
Or don’t. ;)
Bigger can be amazing! But bigger is not always better, and I say that as a Texan. By mindlessly pursuing “bigger,” you could ignore values that influence your current success and satisfaction.
At least once a week, I see a major news story about middle-class Americans — often middle class American women, specifically — who “want it all”:
- a happy and successful family
- a strong marriage / personal partnership
- a thriving career
- perfect mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, and
- an ideal balance between all these things and everything else their hearts desire.
After all, don’t we all deserve the biggest life we can imagine? In reality, bigger is not necessarily better. There are trade-offs, because the fixed constant is time: 24 hours each day, every day. As we make more investments (of time, money, energy) in our increasingly bigger lives, we will eventually reap diminishing returns on our investments.
I also see businesspeople who are consistently challenged to think bigger and grow bigger. They create a massive to-do list that stresses them out, and over time this stress spills over, onto the rest of their team. Because any growing business cycles through the law of diminishing returns, they get frustrated when their higher level of investment in the business is not producing significantly higher levels of results. After some reflection, some say that they wished they had done a better job of balancing their desire for lots of personal time with the to-do list for massive business growth. Others share that they chased the goal of bigger without any regard for what was truly important to them.
So I never assume bigger is better.
And yet, here are some ways I can flow with this quote:
- Think bigger just to see how big your idea can go. Does that excite you? Does it make you want to shake trees and make it happen? Is your team and your family on board with this vision? Yes? Then go get it.
- Think bigger as a contrast to the way things are now, and explore the gap in between. Even if that huge thing is not exactly where you want to go, maybe there's a spot in between that looks like a good growth goal.
- Invite your work team / family / friends to think bigger, together. A dream board is a great way to think really big, while deciding later what kind of timeline you might put on it. No commitments, just freedom to dream and envision.
Think big, yes. Then think bigger. And then make good decisions that honor who you are and the values that guide your business and your life.